


A Falling Knife Doesn't Have a Handle

by Anini



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Light Angst, Out of Character Yagami Light, Sayu - Freeform, Soichiro Yagami - Freeform, self deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anini/pseuds/Anini
Summary: Light is followed on his way home from school. The encounter changes his life: He goes from a confident young man to a broken person.





	A Falling Knife Doesn't Have a Handle

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I (obviously) don't own Death note. This is written purely for fun.

School is out and the sun has already hidden its rays. The shadows are drawn out and disfigured, as if they’re melting into contorted puddles of darkness. They decorate the pavement in a strange pattern that makes Light uneasy. A bird sings a tune that in the daylight would have been considered beautiful, but now it only comes across as eerie. 

Light’s companions went home ages ago. He silently curses himself, wishing he had asked someone for a ride. He pulls his jacket tighter around his body and forces himself to move his feet, one at a time. He hates the feeling of restlessness that is settling over him. It’s quiet - too quiet, in fact - and he hesitates a little as he finds himself at the edge of the campus. 

He can’t quite put his finger on the reason he doesn’t want to move forwards. Something in his head is telling him to turn back, call his parents, call a taxi, anything but walk. His father is probably busy at work. There’s no point in bothering him. Light hates that he can’t bring himself to ask anyone for help. It would hurt his pride to much, and he doesn't want to bother anyone. He hates a lot of things about himself.

Light finally steps off the smooth tile of the school and continues slowly. He lingers around the street lights more than he would if he were walking with someone else. Sweat breaks out on his hands and he hastily wipes them on his pants. The moisture of his palms combats the dryness of his mouth. 

It’s completely dark. Light shoves his hands in his pockets and pushes down the feeling of panic that has been struggling to take over. His breath hitches in his throat and he resists the urge to recoil when a car flies past him. 

He quickens his pace and chews the inside of his cheek. He only has a couple more blocks to go, then he’ll be home. Light can make out the shape of a man leaning against the wall of an alley. He jumps at the sudden movement the man makes when he swings a bottle upwards to drink from it. The hair on Light’s neck stands up and his throat feels likes it’s closing up. He tries to swallow and almost chokes.

“I just want to go home.” He thinks desperately to himself. His heart rate has gone through the roof. It pounds into his back and chest like an incessant drumroll. Sweat prickles all over his body. He pulls his hands from his pockets and wraps them around his chest. They’re shaking so badly he can hardly steady them enough to hold onto himself.

Light almost cries when he passes the drinking figure. The smell of sweat and alcohol fills his senses, and he involuntarily clenches his teeth. The figure shifts and moves closer to him. Light struggles to take in another breath. He feels like a trapped animal; nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. There’s a feeling in his gut that he can’t deny. 

“Where are you going?” The man calls out playfully.

Light’s steps falter. He gasps and clutches his sides tighter, trying to create some envelope around himself. Something in his mind is telling him to run, to scream, but his body won’t obey. 

“I don’t bite.” The voice sounds nearer now. 

Light’s brisk walk turns to a jog. Why doesn’t this guy leave him alone?

He relies completely on his sense of hearing now. He can’t deny the fear anymore. He lets it take over his mind. He can’t think clearly. His mind is empty. All he can understand is the despair that fills his thoughts. The sound of steps behind him grows a little louder, a little faster, and a little more persistent.

Light turns the corner. This isn’t the way home. Maybe I’ll lose him, maybe he’ll get tired and leave, these thoughts all struggle to find their way to the top of Light’s mind. They turn into a jumbled mess inside his head. He can’t breathe. 

The man turns the corner after him.

Every step Light takes is bringing him closer to his destruction. The branches of the trees reach out to him like hands, begging him to stop and do something. The man is so close now. He can feel his breath on his neck. His run turned to an adrenaline-driven sprint a long time ago. Somehow, the man is able to keep up with Light just by walking.

The adrenaline pumping through his veins is sickening; he can almost taste his anxiety in the air.

This man wants to hurt him.

Light blindly turns corners and is barely aware of the tears streaming down his face and the words that the man whispers in a sing-song voice. The buzzing that blocks sound from his ears is deafening. All he can hear is the rhythmic thumping roaring in his ears. He can’t see the space in front of him. His vision is blurred by tears of distress. A hand grips his shoulder.

“Stop.” Light meant for it to be a scream, but it comes out as a barely audible rasp. He shakes the iron vise from his shoulder and stumbles forwards.

He finds himself backed against a wall. HIs hands are splayed over the dirty concrete wall behind him. Light slips downwards as his knees give way. Pain shoots through his back when he falls faster than he was aware of. The man laughs and crawls forwards. 

“Leave me alone!” Light chokes out. His throat feels like it will rip open. His arms and legs somehow connect with the man’s body in a spasmodic attack. He claws at the body above him. The tangle of limbs throws the man off for a moment and he backs up slightly.   
Light tries to scream. His throat closes up and refuses to make any sound. The man brings down a heavy fist and it collides with Light’s head. 

This is it. He will be raped, murdered, and thrown into a canal, and there isn't a damn thing he can do about it.

Light whimpers and squeezes his eyes shut as pain shoots through his head like jolts of electricity. His whole body goes rigid in the moment he needs it the most. He weakly pounds into the sweaty body above him.

Fingers curl around Light’s throat and everything starts spinning in a sickly haze. He opens his mouth and gasps like a fish out of water. Maybe it was a blessing that he can’t hear a word that the man is saying. Light knows exactly what will happen if he passes out. He struggles as his vision around him grows dark in a last ditch effort to escape. 

He can hardly make out what the man ks saying to him. He picks up a few words.

“I’ll let you go.” 

Light almost laughs - almost. If he wasn’t in this situation, he would have. Let him go, huh. What a fucking lie. He heaves in one more time before the fingers close tighter around his delicate throat. Everything around him is enveloped in a blotchy, surreal darkness.


End file.
